The Quality of Our Attention

I have found this basic insight to be the truth over and over again: what we pay attention to dictates where we live.

Now, I don't mean geography, but rather something more esoteric. The quality of our attention can determine the tone and texture of our lives.

My clients will recognize this notion... it's where I start all my introductory sessions, and where I bring them back to many times through our sessions together. What you pay attention to indicates your values and dictates your behaviour.

Let's use a simple example of a belief that the world is an unsafe place and people are unfriendly. If you held that belief, then you might find that when you are driving into work, you are less likely to use your turn signal for a lane change. You don't believe anyone would let you in anyway, so why bother? As a result, when you try to change lanes, people don't let you in, you get frustrated and arrive to work harried and angry. 

But what if your core belief were different? What if you believed instead that the world is a safe place and people are at least neutral, if not downright friendly? You might just use your turn signal when changing lanes, and people might be more willing to let you in because at the very least, they know you have a need to change lanes. You arrive to work less harried and more than likely in a neutral if not a downright positive state of mind after your usual commute.

Where you pay attention is where you live.

It's also the first step in making a change. It's part of the power of coaching and is what gives me a charge with each new client and each new "aha" moment with them... when they look at where they pay attention, begin to unpack what that means for them, and see how they might consider a new way... it's kismet!